If you’ve read this blog much at all you might realize that I’m a big fan of social networking. The tools I use may be new but the obsession isn’t.
I joined my first “social network” in 1994 when I got an account on Prodigy and joined their SAHM 30something message board. Some of the women I met there remain my dearest friends today. I joined a forum about Walt Disney World in 2002 looking for information about an upcoming trip and I still hang out with a crew of fellow “pirates” I met there.
So, yeah, not new to this. I don’t see a huge difference between social networking as it exists today and message boards, forums and even Usenet (now Google Groups) and IRC. Only the tools are cooler now. The functionality is essentially the same. Meet and talk to people you have something in common with.
But now I’m curious. Where do you hang out? What social networks do you use? I know a lot of my readers come here via Twitter, but where else do you plop your social networking behind? Flickr? Facebook? Second Life? A Ning group or two? Any forums? Maybe match.com or something similar (my sister met her husband on AOL!)
How long have you been forging relationships online? Do you value these relationships in the same way as your real life relationships or does it feel different? Are relationships even the point for you or is there something else that draws you in?
And if you don’t use social networks, why not? Is it about the time it takes (which is a very valid reason, it does take time!) or is there something more to it?
I started socializing in a local BBS in 1994 and over the years AOL, IRC (Dalnet mainly), Fark.com’s community forums, and many others.
Currently mainly Twitter, Facebook and a couple of Google Groups made up of people I met via TotalFark.com
It’s all about Twitter for me. An amazing set of new relationships has developed from 140 characters. I’ve felt drawn to certain Twitterers and followed up with in-person meetings that are always fascinating. I find that the real person is recognizable from his or her Tweets, but it turns out that the online text conveys only about 10 percent of the actual person, so there are big surprises when I’m face to face at a Starbucks.
One odd aspect to all this is that I’m kind of an introvert in offline life. I’m not one to strike up conversations with strangers at airports or grocery stores the way my wife does. But with all this Twitter experience, taking risks of self-disclosure with near-strangers, I find I’m slightly more outgoing in real life, too. So it’s just the opposite effect that some socnet naysayers like to wring their hands over. Twitter draws me out of my isolation into a more active engagement with the world.
I keep trying to like Facebook and have some friends there and use some apps. But it’s always a duty to check it out, whereas Twitter pulls me into the stream with a near-physical attraction. From Twitter, I find new blogs where I like to comment and get to know people in more depth. I listen to quite a few podcasts and have left voice comments on some of them. It’s always a thrill to be listening to a podcast while working out or walking and hear my own voice come on. Narcissism? I think not. More the joy of being part of something bigger than myself, and through that connection finding my own voice.
This is all pretty new to me, since joining Twitter in about April of this year. At 57, I feel as if a new world is being handed to me 140 characters at a time!
I’m pretty much with Len on this. It’s a real effort to stay away from Twitter, whereas Facebook is very “meh” for me. To this day, I cannot figure out how things there are organized or how to navigate. There’s just way too much going on there in terms of different apps to all fit in the same UI design.
I also spend a lot of time on Flickr, but not so much for the networking aspects, only for the good photo management and sharing features (like notes on the pictures).
I belong to 4 ning groups, one of which I created myself for my golf club. I don’t spend a heck of a lot of time there, except in fits and starts when something particular is being discussed. I suspect if the golf group takes off, I’ll be there more.
And I’d like take this opportunity to state for the record once again that, contrary to what many clueless critics have to say, social networking and media have enriched my in-person network of friends immensely. It’s not at all about narcissism, or withdrawing from the real world. I have so many wonderful new friends and contacts now that I’ve been immersed in social media. Yes, they may sometimes be different in real-life than online, but that doesn’t detract from knowing them in both spheres.
I used to have a “mommy blog” when I was at home with my daughter. I loved it because it connected me with the outside world and I made a lot of good friends through it. When I went back to work, blogging time was cut back substantially (and has now all but disappeared). But two of my blog friends (@trine and @graced) guided me to twitter (and thats where I met you, annie!). I am on flickr as well, but not nearly as much and dont do much socializing there. I know everyone is on facebook these days but Ive been fighting it because I need to balance online life with real life…and I need to let real life win most of the time. So, its just twitter and flickr for me.
Merlene- I love that you’re in smaller groups that came out of TotalFark. I think some don’t realize how common that is- meeting people in a large social network then forming smaller ones as you develop relationships.
Len- I was always an introvert, too. I’m not sure why social networking helps me be more outgoing, but it certainly does. I used to wait for other people to start a conversation with me, now I’m much more likely to walk up to a stranger and say hi. Still a little nerve-wracking but not as scary as it was!
Joe- I just started using Flickr for social networking, mostly because until recently I didn’t know many other people there. Now that I have a group of contacts and have started playing in groups it’s even more fun, but I still primarily use it as a place for family and friends to see my photos. And like I twittered to Len yesterday- the naysayers haven’t put in the time or effort to see what social networking is all about, so I just ignore them.
I used to be big into the AOL chat rooms back in the early 90s, that progressed to forums and podcast community chat rooms, then I ventured into Second Life and got hooked on the 3D aspects.
I find that it takes a lot more to hold my attention now and other than Twitter and Second Life, I am not faithful to any of my other networks – myspace, facebook, Ning…
TJG and TheDiva- you both mention time and that’s the BIG reason I hear from friends who seem interested in trying things like Twitter but haven’t taken the leap. And it’s why I haven’t entered Second Life yet, even though I know I’d love it. It’s about balance and most people I know online have worked that out well for themselves (so
naysayers again 
.)
I have never really gotten into social networks other than a way to communicate with friends or colleagues in real life. However, a couple months ago I was introduced to Twitter and hopped on board and have been enjoying it. There are people I have encountered and have been enjoying reading about what is going on in their lives in 140 words or less. (Even if it involves people cheering for the Mets.
)
I’ve been doing quite a bit on Twitter of course. Facebook less so – it’s a big time suck and I don’t feel like it is very “conversational”. LinkedIn has been good for some more business-ish contacts.
After that I am still on a number of forums. The one I go to everyday is GamerDad which is a site for parents to go to to talk about games and kids, as well as movies, TV and kids’ entertainment from a parental POV. Great group of folks there, talk not just video games, but board, card games, anything for the kids. Have made somee great contacts there!
–*Rob
Jennifer- I’ll let the Mets comment slide- this time!
Rob- sounds like a cool forum! I love the way a common interest as simple (or as complex) as gaming brings people together.
I have the same issues as others with Facebook- it still feels more like a chore than fun, although I do see some benefits.
I’ve given up on LinkedIn. I started ignoring their bacn emails completely the last few days. As somebody at the Social Media Breakfast said the other day, “it’s just millions of people looking for a job”. I should probably go turn off the email notifications altogether.
Oddly, I find myself relying more on face-to-face meetings to expand my social network and then I continue that relationship online via the usual suspects. In the 90′s, I spent more time in chatrooms or forums, talking to people I knew only online. As more and more people come online, I find myself moving away from meeting people online – I can’t wade through the “clutter” so to speak, anymore.
After F2F, Twitter is my medium of choice.